we just want to emote 'til we're dead

I’m in heaven. I’m working so hard and so many hours, my feet and back hurt more than ever, but I just don’t even care. There are drunk Scottish men singing ballads along with an accordion in the bar right now, and I can’t even describe how much I love it. I feel more at home here than I did even in Canada. And London… let’s just pretend that never happened. Not my style.

The air here is so fresh and clean, and the only noise comes from sheep across the road. And even at their loudest, no matter what the time, it’s just cute.

Everyone I’ve met (with the exception of some English guests), has been so so friendly. I’m allowed to be here for almost 2 more years, and I’m already sad to leave.

I’m so thankful that we found this job and got to stay in the UK and really get a chance to enjoy it. What a waste it was all about to be.

I really don’t want to sound boastful, but my life is great right now. Simple, quiet, and beautiful. And that’s not something I’ve been able to say very much in the past.

Why, tell me, does everyone I’ve ever loved not live in Scotland? And why can’t I stay forever?

I wish I believed in reincarnation. I want so badly to experience life in every form. Sometimes so much so it hurts in my chest and I can think of nothing else.

I’m going to watch more documentaries.

I’m in London (a million and one miles from home) so I don’t feel I have the right to complain, but I miss the simple luxuries of hanging out with good friends, having drinks, not being sticky from the humidity after only a short walk to the corner store. Not being offended by 70% of the people I meet (I never really thought Canadians were exceedingly friendly, but I was wrong). I miss politeness and politically correctness.

I don’t mean to imply that I hate it here, there’s definitely an adjustment period. And it will make a world of difference when(if) I finally get a job, and can go out and really experience the city. Unfortunately, time is running short, and I’m getting worried that we might just have to go back. And as much as I do miss home, I’d feel pretty awful about having this opportunity and not making it work. But I suppose all one can do is try.