we just want to emote 'til we're dead

In less than nineteen hours, I will be standing outside, waiting for the bus back to the city. Still have to pack, sleep, and work five more hours.

I’ve lost my mind so extraordinarily these last few days, and I can’t wait for the long stretch of time that is all mine. For waking up when I feel rested, making noises after 10pm, not having to hide my vices.

I don’t know why I’m doing this job, but I’ll probably remember tomorrow, when my bank account looks real pretty and I have a whole week to do absolutely anything I want. Is this worth it? I don’t need this much money. It just makes me buy things.

I’ve been a little conflicted. And a little bit me-time deprived. But I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay.

I’m okay. 

semi-spring:

invent yourself and then reinvent yourself, 
don’t swim in the same slough. 
invent yourself and then reinvent yourself 
and 
stay out of the clutches of mediocrity. 

invent yourself and then reinvent yourself, 
change your tone and shape so often that they can 
never 
categorize you. 

reinvigorate yourself and 
accept what is 
but only on the terms that you have invented 
and reinvented. 

be self-taught. 

and reinvent your life because you must; 
it is your life and 
its history 
and the present 
belong only to 
you. 



Charles Bukowski

WELL I’m not depressed yet, but my face is tingly and I can’t stop crying and laughing hysterically at the same time.

I have a $50 Visa gift card. What super awesome thing(s) should I buy right now??

My best idea so far is a cheapo tattoo gun. Which may be better than making one out of an electric toothbrush and guitar string?

I’m not on tumblr as much now and I miss all my internet lovers.
Clearly I should quit my job.
It’s interfering with my computer time.

femmesandfamily:

Fill your blog with your own face

Show off your arms, thighs, ass, shoulders

Make pages and pages of your own teeth and hair

Dedicate space to loving the cracks in your lips and the chewed parts of your fingers

And if you are called vain, then you have succeeded

In getting others to notice

How fucking beautiful and important you are

SELF CARE!

I ran out of my meds and am already going into withdrawal just thinking about not having them today or tomorrow. They were sent here on Friday but who knows when they’ll show up. Stupid working in the middle of nowhere. My only back-up plan is to take lots of lorazepam so I am too out of it to notice that I want to die and am hallucinating people.

OTHER THAN THAT, THINGS ARE JUST DANDY. 

Couldn’t sleep. Spent the $80 I had in my paypal on completely random shit and now I can’t remember what I bought. 

One time I was at a friend’s house and we were watching the news and I started crying when they went to grab their laundry because some dad of a girl who committed suicide was crying for like a five second clip and I lost it then I couldn’t hide my cry-face when they came back.

nursejoey:

like honestly if we follow each other i expect to be allowed to sleep on your floor whenever i’m in your city

I just found snot on my elbow. 

can anybody tell me how to record your screen. i just want to do skype duets and keep them forever. srsly. help. ?

Everything is really fantastic right now.

I’m trying to embrace it, but I just keep worrying that the tenant of this apartment might come home and I have no shirt on.

Everything, right in this moment is perfect.

Basically what I’m saying is I got a humidifier with medicated filters and it projects stars all around my room.

My mom doesn’t understand much about me. We disagree about most things. 

But she paid for my name change for my birthday, and I was showered in name-covered keychains, necklaces, ect. for christmas.

My life isn’t perfect, but I’m really fucking lucky in a lot of ways.

I know lots of you are super happy in these great relationships /  lack-thereof. I am too. But we can still totally make out, right? 

Being famous sounds awful, but what I wouldn’t give for a handful of good friends in every time zone. 

So you can go for however long without a shower. Then you finally have a shower and are just as clean as if you’d been showering every day. Why can’t exercising work the same way? Stupid world. I just want magical muscles. Why is that so hard.

accidentally-on-purpose:

porqslap:

do you ever have a tab open for so long that you start to feel emotionally attached to it?

yes.

but I’m often all achey for the people/places I’ve left. And I’ve had too many homes to call any one place “home” any more.

I’m having feeeeeelinggssssss…

Not from work, I’ve barely started again. 

Just from life. Can’t I just sit and stare and the wall and not talk to anybody and not eat anything and it not be a big deal for a bit? 

I think I used to be a lot smarter.

I also remember thinking that if I could just be a little dumber, I’d be happier.

I guess it worked?

ALL OF THE SEXY THINGS

ALL OF THE TIMES