May 2012
April 2012
I got a big comfy chair for the balcony and now I’m never going inside ever.
Do you ever like… take pictures of yourself and you’re all, “wtf I look way more spectacular than that”?
Do you ever look in the mirror and think that nothing could ever capture the complete disgusting awfulness that is you in that moment?
I started bleeding and I’m really really pissed about it.
My next random internet purchase:
A shower head with color-changing lights.
Do you ever forget that you’re supposed to be doing something then you suddenly realize you’ve been spaced out and rocking back and forth to the ticks of the clocks for almost half an hour?
I don’t want to go to camp. I want to stay with my books and my fancy shoes and my lovely friends (cat and non-cat).
Is the world still happening while I’m hiding away?
Playing draw something with six other people in the same room. Family tiiiime!
I must be feeling sorry for myself. I have “poor unfortunate souls” in my head.
I wanted more Edmonton time!
Just logged in to skype for the first time in ????
What’s up, rest of the world?
Kitty party kitty party kitty partyyyyy!
I’ll be free in about 20 hours, having drinks and hanging out with the best people and KITTENS.
My life is okay. I forget sometimes.
‘I think,’ said Anna, toying with the glove she had taken off, ‘I think … if there are as many minds as there are men, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts.’
“Recognize that the very molecules that make up your body, the atoms that construct the molecules, are traceable to the crucibles that were once the centers of high mass stars that exploded their chemically rich guts into the galaxy, enriching pristine gas clouds with the chemistry of life. So that we are all connected to each other biologically, to the earth chemically and to the rest of the universe atomically. That’s kinda cool! That makes me smile and I actually feel quite large at the end of that. It’s not that we are better than the universe, we are part of the universe. We are in the universe and the universe is in us.”
—
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
way cool.
(via pinatasmashing)I love my girlfriend because she sings to herself in meows while she’s on Tumblr.
Also, other reasons.
“Some people will never understand the kind of super power it takes for some people to just walk outside.”
—Andrea Gibson (via boybitch)
I DO NOT NEED $100 BOOTS RIGHT NOW. I AM NOT GOING TO BUY THEM RIGHT NOW BEFORE I GO TO BED. NOT. NOT.
Ugh. Fuck. Every single time I walk ANYWHERE in this camp, I get called a lady like five times. Every time someone passes. “Hello, ladies!”
CAN’T YOU JUST SAY HELLO. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.
I should probably just start saying, “I’m not a lady” instead of smiling weakly and then making choking noises afterward. Really.
Womp womp.
“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
— Carl Jung (via lambmilk)
Feeeeeeelings
I’ve been feeling pretty awful lately about how little I participate in the world. I don’t really talk to anyone unless I’m drunk. I want to cower in the corner every time the phone rings or I get a FB message or the like. I sometimes get long heartfelt emails from people I love more than anything, and I just never reply. Or reply like six months later. This is not an exaggeration.
I don’t know why this is getting to me so much suddenly. Nobody has called me out on it. Well, one person did a good while ago. And I think it has a lot to do with why we don’t talk anymore. But that was ages ago…
I don’t know. Maybe it’s this forced sobriety. I’m lonely and I want to connect with people, but I’d also rather hide out in my tiny room and eat boring sandwiches than go to dinner and make small talk with some pretty decent people.
Sometimes I just honestly think that the only answer is alcohol, and that makes me feel extra shitty. Why can’t I just function on my own? Well I can, but it’s lonely.
How do some people like me? Not like “I’m such a shit person how can anyone like me”, but. Do I even put enough out there for people to have an honest opinion about me? It doesn’t really feel like it.
You are brilliant.
Wahhh, my heart! <3
I was perched on the bed with my legs spread out all funny...
- A: (trying to hug me) You're awkward and I can't get close to you!
- M: THAT IS MY LIFE.
- A: It really is, isn't it?
Where’s a small dark space when you need it?
Really want to disappear today.
Just packed away my hairspray and blow-dryer.
See you in another life!
I suddenly want to dye my hair green (when I have some again) and get more piercings (bridge? septum?).
Huhwut? Where’d that come from? Quarter-life crisis?
