we just want to emote 'til we're dead

I had the most adorable cab driver this morning. He was so unapologetically confused about my gender but never made a thing of it, never back-pedalled, never asked me to explain. When I went to get into the back, he said “Ohh, get in the front, you’re a tall boy. Tall… girl… you’re tall.” Then shortly after, he told me I look “beautiful like a girl and tough like a boy”. In a really adorable Russian accent. 

Just. Ugh. Staring the day with a glow. <3

So I’ve decided to stop tracking any gender-related tags. I’ve found some great people, people who have greatly improved my life, people I can reach out to and be there for. But it’s just not worth it any longer to scroll past all the mocking, the invalidation, the people saying they want to kill themselves because people like me are so tiring. I don’t know why everyone is so angry and so so ugly.

I want to be a cis female. I want to be a trans man. I want to die.

Should male/female be the only genders?

(tw: binarism, cissexism)

thatstalkerdude:

So, what I am about to write may be a little controversial, but please bear with me; it’s just my opinion.

Up until very recently, gender was looked upon in a very binary manner. You were either male or female, nothing else. Now, in the last 50 years or so vast strides have been made towards the rights of people who did not fit mainstream categories, such as people who are gay or who cross-dressed. It is now seen as acceptable to be a little odd, to have “character”, and to be different from the usual social norms.

There’s no denying that not every person has the exact same characteristics where “gender” is concerned. Some guys are a bit feminine, others are a lot feminine. Some cross-dress as women, while others consider themselves to be neither male nor female, but a mixture. 

These people want recognition, they want their gender to be valid and equal. On a form, they don’t want a choice between male and female, they want to be able to choose agender, transgender, genderfluid, genderqueer, trasnvestite, etc. etc.

Should they have this? In my opinion, no.

I think that the concept of having to choose from more than two genders is appalling. But please, let me explain before you hate on me.

Let’s take ‘male’ as an example, just because that’s what I am. I think that anyone who thinks ‘male’ constitutes an exact set of characteristics needs to re-examine the world. Male is a HUGE category, and there are many shades of grey including in it. Male-and-very-straight, male-but-a-bit-camp, male-but-wants-to-be-female, etc. etc. Just think of it, how many people do you know that are ALL male? That have NO tendencies whatsoever toward femininity? I think very few.

I think that this concept of the traditional male is irrelevant in this day and age. People are all individual, and every combination of personality traits is unique. I would much rather see all these types of people proud to accept each other as being the same, as just being male, than cordoning themselves off into separate factions. It’s better to just be male in your own way than to try and completely distinguish yourself from the gender. I mean, leaving hermaphrodites and the likes aside, male and female are the two physical choices for gender. Everything else is just petty differences.

We are ALL people! We are ALL unique! To give each of us our own box would only serve to isolate us. Instead of highlighting our differences, we should be concentrating on how alike we all are! Hate is bread through fear and misunderstanding. People are more likely to take a dislike to someone they see as a threat to their way of life than they are to someone who is just an individual just like them, a human-being, just trying to get by.

In fact, I think that if not for the obvious physical confinements of male vs female, I would abolish gender discrimination altogether! I, personally, am a straight male who is quite feminine. I have no issue wearing make-up or nail polish or even the occasional item of women’s clothing. Does that stop me from being male? Absolutely not. If someone classified me and allowed me to choose that option on a form, I would be insulted. What, am I not good enough to be considered like everyone else? 

The huge divide between male and female has already done so much damage, please don’t attempt to widen it any further! Males objectify women, thinking of them as another species whom they can’t treat as human. They overly-sexualise them because they know no better a lot of the time. And likewise, women have similar premonitions about men. You are not so different as you think, communication is key.

You want to call yourself transgender? That’s fine by me, you’re entitled to assert yourself as anything you want. However, I’m just going to consider you as a fellow human. Your gender or sexuality does NOT define you as a person, don’t ever let it become you. You are a unique human-being and equal to every single other human on the planet, and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Gender shouldn’t exist, not really. It’s such an argumentative classification. Sex is fine, it’s a physical trait where most people know exactly which side of the line they stand on. As regards gender, there are far too many shades with far too little differences for it to even qualify. I think that no two people have the exact same ‘gender’, just as no two people have the same fingerprints.

Diversity is the natural order of things. Simple as.

Hey look everyone! This condescending binarist loves me and thinks I’m a human!

Brb throwing up everywhere.

The only thing that’s ever made me wish I was a guy (besides shit being easier (for me)) is wanting to be my father’s son.

I don’t know if I can explain that in any more depth.

feeling deflated. just got called “miss” like five times in two minutes. even if I could explain to the regulars that I don’t want their gendered words anywhere near me, this would probably still happen over and over and over and over…

all tumblr no work makes morgan forget what the world is like. 

Sometimes I mess up my own pronouns and I kind of want to laugh and slap myself across the face at the same time. It’s hilarious that my own language can make me feel so dysphoric.

I guess like, how often do you talk about others talking about you / narrate strangers’ thoughts about you / whatever.

I NEED PRACTICE TOO. TWENTY SOME YEARS OF SHE IS HARD TO GET OVER.

A Little Revelation: On Non-Binary vs. Genderqueer

gqid:

butchinthesouth:

So, I’ve been feeling less and less and less in touch with the word “genderqueer” over the last year.  Something about it just irked me but I could never figure out what.

At the same time, the word “non-binary” seemed to come into common usage, and I realized that I actually like that word far more.

I couldn’t figure out why “non-binary” felt so much better to me than “genderqueer”, though.

And I think I finally know what it is.

I really resent the idea that my gender identity is considered inherently queer just because I don’t identify with one of the binary genders.

I feel like I have a lot more to say on this subject, but since I’m feeling nauseated I’m having a tough time stringing together solid thoughts.  I might make a follow-up post later when I’m feeling better.

Is there anyone else out there who feels this way?  I’d love to talk about it with someone, if so.

An interesting topic for discussion.

I connected with genderqueer primarily in my first awareness of the word because my understanding of queer was that this meant an umbrella word signifying non-normative identity as considered by my given society (social, rather than essentially so), and this also was the term that made the most sense to me that I came across. An identity can be considered queer / non-normative depending on social context, in my understanding, but not everyone will feel the additional connotations of queerness will apply to them. The additional problems with this is it poses a barrier to such an identity ever reaching normative, or even ‘normal’ status, and that there is some reference to or even reliance on what society thinks, which may or may not be relevant to describing a person’s gender (while gender is also very social, it is very personal - another tricky aspect of the subject). I do not identify with radical concepts of queerness as something confrontational or political, so these associations have made me uncomfortable (not when others feel this way, if and it is important to their identities, but assumptions from elsewhere about how my identity should be). Non-binary gender as a term hasn’t come into currency until comparatively recently, either, so this was not really an option for me to consider to begin with, and as of late I have had to weigh how I feel about the applications in my own identity. Whether a gender could be considered queer, non-binary, or something else depends very much on both context and one’s own personal comfort.

Yesss. I’ve been not so keen on the genderqueer label, and this pretty well sums up why.

I really like gay bars because I can feel so completely comfortable in either bathroom. I’m actually at an advantage there. Suckas.

My mom doesn’t understand much about me. We disagree about most things. 

But she paid for my name change for my birthday, and I was showered in name-covered keychains, necklaces, ect. for christmas.

My life isn’t perfect, but I’m really fucking lucky in a lot of ways.