we just want to emote 'til we're dead

Sometimes I mess up my own pronouns and I kind of want to laugh and slap myself across the face at the same time. It’s hilarious that my own language can make me feel so dysphoric.

I guess like, how often do you talk about others talking about you / narrate strangers’ thoughts about you / whatever.

I NEED PRACTICE TOO. TWENTY SOME YEARS OF SHE IS HARD TO GET OVER.

binarism, internalized binarism, dysphoria personal stuff

buttzfartpube:

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Feelin’ this. I’ve been feeling all kinds of pressure to id as a guy lately because it would just be so much more simple (imo, for me) and tbh I could use a little simple right now. Not having to defend/explain myself on the daily would be great. But I KNOW that once the novelty wore off, I’d resent being seen as male most of the time as much as I currently do being seen as female most of the time. So basically wah wah let’s start a commune maybe?

A Little Revelation: On Non-Binary vs. Genderqueer

gqid:

butchinthesouth:

So, I’ve been feeling less and less and less in touch with the word “genderqueer” over the last year.  Something about it just irked me but I could never figure out what.

At the same time, the word “non-binary” seemed to come into common usage, and I realized that I actually like that word far more.

I couldn’t figure out why “non-binary” felt so much better to me than “genderqueer”, though.

And I think I finally know what it is.

I really resent the idea that my gender identity is considered inherently queer just because I don’t identify with one of the binary genders.

I feel like I have a lot more to say on this subject, but since I’m feeling nauseated I’m having a tough time stringing together solid thoughts.  I might make a follow-up post later when I’m feeling better.

Is there anyone else out there who feels this way?  I’d love to talk about it with someone, if so.

An interesting topic for discussion.

I connected with genderqueer primarily in my first awareness of the word because my understanding of queer was that this meant an umbrella word signifying non-normative identity as considered by my given society (social, rather than essentially so), and this also was the term that made the most sense to me that I came across. An identity can be considered queer / non-normative depending on social context, in my understanding, but not everyone will feel the additional connotations of queerness will apply to them. The additional problems with this is it poses a barrier to such an identity ever reaching normative, or even ‘normal’ status, and that there is some reference to or even reliance on what society thinks, which may or may not be relevant to describing a person’s gender (while gender is also very social, it is very personal - another tricky aspect of the subject). I do not identify with radical concepts of queerness as something confrontational or political, so these associations have made me uncomfortable (not when others feel this way, if and it is important to their identities, but assumptions from elsewhere about how my identity should be). Non-binary gender as a term hasn’t come into currency until comparatively recently, either, so this was not really an option for me to consider to begin with, and as of late I have had to weigh how I feel about the applications in my own identity. Whether a gender could be considered queer, non-binary, or something else depends very much on both context and one’s own personal comfort.

Yesss. I’ve been not so keen on the genderqueer label, and this pretty well sums up why.

I really like gay bars because I can feel so completely comfortable in either bathroom. I’m actually at an advantage there. Suckas.

Sometimes I really wish that being who I am didn’t offend so many people.

“I just don’t understand how you can be non-binary-gendered. That is, not female or male.”

adravet:

I want you to lie for me. If you’re a woman, say “I am a man.” If you’re a man, say “I am a woman.” Say it out loud. Say it to your reflection. Do you feel that little disconnect there, where the sentiment you’re articulating doesn’t match up with the reality you experience? You know you’re lying. Even if someone else comes up and says “Hey! That’s right! That’s definitely what you are,” you will still know you’re lying.

I can’t speak for everyone, but that’s what happens to me when I try to place myself as either male or female. I could stand up and say “I am a man,” and know, to my bones, that I was lying. Just as I’d be lying if I said “I am a woman.”

It’s not a matter of thinking, “I can’t be a man/woman if I want to do or like these things.” I know that as a woman, I could still have a career, join the military, roughhouse, be athletic, be great at science – all those stereotypically male things. I know that as a man, I could still stay at home, raise kids, bake, knit, show my emotions easily and often – all those stereotypically female things. My gender identity is not about what I want to do, it’s about who I am.

This is not a new idea. Cultures across the globe have acknowledged more than two genders, from the Middle Kingdom of Egypt to the Lakota of North America, from Mayan civilization to the Siberian Chuckhi. References to persons neither male nor female date back to some of humanity’s most ancient written records, such as the Sumerian creation myth, and survive in seminal religious texts such as the Ramayana and the Halakha.

If you want to learn more, the citation list on Wikipedia’s article on “Third gender” has links and references to scholarly articles, books, studies, and excerpts which might help you get an idea of the nature and history of various non-binary identities. Or you can look at more contemporary accounts, such as Neutrois.com, or the discussion on AVEN’s site on “What it feels like to be trans, genderqueer or genderless”. Remember that no single narrative will be able to represent all people, and different nonbinary people may have different preferred terms, explanations, and experiences.

My mom doesn’t understand much about me. We disagree about most things. 

But she paid for my name change for my birthday, and I was showered in name-covered keychains, necklaces, ect. for christmas.

My life isn’t perfect, but I’m really fucking lucky in a lot of ways.

I wish being agender wasn’t such a foreign concept to most people.

The number of times in a day that I am called a girl/lady is making me feel super down. It’s making me less okay with feminine pronouns, just out of spite.

Also this one girly boy was really nice to me for a few days, then snubbed me completely when he found out I have a vagina. Fuck this. 

I have a new birth certificate and have introduced myself to near a hundred people as Morgan in the last four days. Just sayin’. I’m in the perfect place for it to really sink in.

I think my first splurge will be to get myself a new ID when I get paid. AND A CELEBRATORY TATTOO?? Want now please.